Evil Bong High 5!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

PREVIOUSLY ON EVIL BONG 

Rabbit escapes from the Bong World with a bunch of Eebee's weed and opens up a Bowling Alley where anyone can bowl and purchase weed. Larnell Cornwallis shows up with Sarah Leigh, having broken up with Velicity in between films. Speaking of Velicity, she tracks Larnell and Sarah down and fights with Sarah over Larnell, but both end up getting high and feel slightly attracted to each other. When Eebee discovers Rabbit has escaped, she and the Gingerdead Man head out to the real world to find him. During their search, the Gingerdead Man loses his virginity to one of Rabbit's employees named Candy. Eebee winds up sucking Rabbit, Sarah, Velicity, Larnell and the Gingerdead Man back into her Bong World after Rabbit gets them high off of Eebee's weed.

AND NOW...EVIL BONG HIGH 5!

The story takes place 6 months or longer after the events of Evil Bong 420. I say this because even Larnell tries to do the math on this but says fuck it. Larnell, Rabbit, Sarah Leigh, Velicity and the Gingerdead Man have not found a way out, even though Hambo, Phoebe, and the Asian Tourist Couple appear to have escaped. For anyone who doesn't remember, Hambo, Phoebe, and the Asian Tourist Couple were sprayed with the Weed Blower by Rabbit in the last film, but they are not present with the main group here. I see no reason why Eebee wouldn't bring them into the Bong World if she is really serious about collecting souls by having people smoke her weed. Or is she prejudiced against smart blondes, Pig-Headed TV personalities, and Asians? How complex is this talking Bong, right? Rabbit and the Gingerdead Man have been enjoying themselves more than anyone else in the main group, which contrasts Rabbit's claim that he escaped the Bong World last time because he couldn't get his dick up. Then again, it is mentioned Eebee has made damn sure no one can escape this time, so maybe she finally got Rabbit's tumescence working again. Sarah Leigh has also been crocheting clothes for every one in her spare time, especially for the Gingerdead Man. Speaking of that, Sarah has little hate towards the Gingerdead Man after all he's done to her. Brutally killing her father and brother in front of her while he was Millard Findlemeyer? Forgiven. Becoming a killer cookie, cutting her mother's finger off, possessing her best friend and forcing her to burn said best friend alive? Forgiven. Killing two of her employees and forcing her to shut down her new bakery? ALL IS WELL. Then again, it appears this actually might be a plot point, for Sarah Leigh noticeably has lost intelligence since the last film. Seriously, half the time she speaks, she says something random or something that no one can distinguish.

Eebee approaches them and decides to get back on track with her plan from the first film, which is world domination by having every one in the world smoke her weed. Problem is, she needs a million dollars in order to so, so she sends Rabbit, Larnell and the Gingerdead Man out into the real world at her Magical Dispensary to sell her weed and collect a million dollars within 30 days. I have no idea how Eebee got this place up and running. As insurance, Velicity and Sarah are kept in the Bong World and are "tortured" by the Poonishers (completely separate from the Poontang tribe), and by "tortured", I mean lap-danced by two topless women. If the men manage to collect one million dollars for Eebee at the end of 30 days, she will let the men go, including the girls. But if they fail, they will never be able to escape the Bong World. Eventually near the end,  Velicity and Sarah Leigh manage to get out when they find one of Eebee's portals out of the Bong World, now properly titled "Rabbit Holes". Whether or not if "Rabbit  Hole" is a reference to our character Rabbit  because he escaped from the Bong World off-screen last film, or if its an Alice in Wonderland reference has yet to be determined. It rather seems to be an excuse to say "Rabbit's Hole" because Rabbit apparently likes to get pleasured there by the Poontang Tribe off-screen.

The rest of the movie follows the same formula as Evil Bong 420, which is one or all of our male characters interacting with cameos or background characters from other Full Moon films. All the while, none of them seem to be confused at the sight of a walking, talking Gingerbread cookie, especially David DeCoteau. David DeCoteau and David Del Valle show up once again to shoot another movie, now with their new friend, Butt Pirate. Wouldn't DeCoteau be shitting his pants, especially since he was working at Cheatum Studios, directing "Space Spankers 2015" when one of the other cookie incarnations of Millard Findlemeyer went around killing the cast and crew of "Tiny Terrors 9: Purgatory of the Petite" in Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust? I know, people, that its a small detail, and these films aren't exactly the DC or Marvel films, so who fucking cares, right? Well guess what? If the film included that scene of DeCoteau flipping his shit at the sight of the Gingerdead Man, the film would not only have been funnier, but I also could have given it more credit to writing for putting that into the script.

Phoebe shows up again to work for the boys for free, to show that she is a serious actress by not taking her top off like the male leads desire her to, and she needs a place to stay. Also, apparently she and the Gingerdead Man exchanged numbers off-screen last film, despite the fact they've clearly met back when Phoebe used to be a Bikini Girl in Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong. Clearly, the actress was playing a different character then, but Phoebe and the Gingerdead Man knowing each other would have made better sense by that logic than simply saying they met off-screen. Joe Cracker, AKA Red Neck (now missing one eye thanks to Ooga Booga from the last film), and his companion Redder Neck, show up with their lady friend, Crack Whore, and try to earn a nickel for each time someone bangs her so they can purchase a lot of Eebee's merchandise. The rednecks wind up banking $40,000 off of her in nickels up until steam comes hissing out of her vagina, which is about 800,000 sex acts in less than 30 days. All $40,000 goes towards 40 little Eebee bongs with weed in them. And I thought I had problems, both financially and sexually.

The Heshers from the last film are back as well and have become celebrity impersonators, paying $5,000 for five little Eebee bongs. And there's a love triangle between the Gingerdead Man, Hambo, and Candy, who has become Peggy Suey on Hambo's TV show. Hambo bargains with the men, asking for a corner in the store to be able to sell his merchandise of BadAssDolls(.com) of Ooga Booga, Joe Cracker and the Gook. Throughout the movie, he takes pictures of Crack Whore, Butt Pirate and himself, thus allowing him to create all six of his merchandise, meaning this movie, Evil Bong 420 and the crossover film are prequels to Ooga Booga, considering Hambo had all six statues by that film. But that doesn't make any sense since Ooga Booga was in this movie and Evil Bong 420. Hell, Donna from Ooga Booga was in Evil Bong 420 with a date, and when Joe Cracker stole cash from her, Ooga Booga came to her help and stabbed the redneck in the eye with a spear. The only way this makes sense is that the Ooga Booga we saw in the previous film was the Ooga Booga from Doll Graveyard. But even then, that doesn't make sense. Also, the Gingerdead Man has a dream of Candy having sex with Ooga Booga, even though the Gingerdead Man has never come across Ooga Booga in ANY of the previous films.

The Asian Tourist Couple return as the directing team for promoting Eebee's Magical Dispensary, and the Gook is now a well known action film director (Justin Lin perhaps?). Somewhere in the mix, Larnell mentions that he has a connection set up with the Killjoy Psycho Circus, and plans on getting their commercial on during the performance. Yep, not only is Evil Bong connected with the Gingerdead Man, Ooga Booga, Doll Graveyard, Demonic Toys, Hideous!, Dollman, Bad Channels, Zombies vs. Strippers, Subspecies, Decadent Evil and Trancers films, its connected to the Killjoy series as well. Charles Band, please...don't make a Killjoy vs. Evil Bong film. I am hanging by a thread, and Killjoy is that thread. Please don't take that away from us fans. Oh yeah, and Cyril Cornwallis, Larnell's grandfather, who was mentioned to have croaked between Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong and Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong, shows up to talk smack about Larnell again, and introduces Larnell to his half brother, Jeff. This plotline is not elaborated on, but based on Evil Bong 3D alone, Cyril probably went into hiding from the Feds for collecting the alien ganja, and is banking hard off of selling it. He also probably has Nurse Hookah around to wash his balls for him. Whatever happened to Cyril's NEW wife, Rosemary? He never mentions her after the first movie.

The movie concludes with Eebee arriving to learn the men are $40,000 short, but the men are saved last minute by the Red Necks and Crack Whore. At the same time, Velicity and Sarah make it out of the Bong World, just as the Gingerdead Man finally snaps after seeing Hambo and Candy together, and holds everyone in the place at knife point, threatening to kill Hambo first. While all of this is going on, Rabbit discovers something. You see, throughout the entire movie, Rabbit has been trying to reach a stage of nothingness to clear his head from headaches and thoughts. At that moment, Rabbit discovers a whole NEW level of nothing in which his mind sucks Eebee, the Gingerdead Man and Larnell into the nothingness, where they are all dropped into Hell, ending with a note that says "Evil Bong 666" is coming soon. It's been about five years since Evil Bong vs. The Killa Crack Pipe was promoted to be coming soon, and I am still waiting goddamn it.

This is the 5th film (technically 6th) overall in the Evil Bong franchise, and its sad what the franchise has become. The past three films, including this one, have been nothing but promotional vehicles to get people to check out the BadAssDolls(.com) 
website to purchase Full Moon collectibles. The Evil Bong films are not quality art, I know. They are the farthest from that, but admittedly the first two films were wacky and fun, and I consider them to part of a good, consistent trilogy. The third one had some issues, but overall I could still enjoy it. I'll get into that in a bit. All three of the Evil Bong films were written by the late Brian Domonic Muir, under the pen name August White, and all three of them were directed by Charles Band. I should also mention, Muir and Band wrote and directed the first Gingerdead Man film as well. After the third Evil Bong film began production, Kent Roudebush was hired as screenwriter after Muir passed in 2010, either finishing or rewriting the script Brian Muir wrote. Kent Roudebush's other credits include Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, Zombies vs. Strippers, and Ooga Booga. I don't know if its Kent himself or Charlies's doing, but the writing and comedy for Evil Bong 3D, the Gingerdead Man crossover, Evil Bong 420, and Evil Bong High 5 have been the main negatives for these movies, and these negatives are the reason why I have yet to see either Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, Zombies vs. Strippers, or Ooga Booga, because the trailer advertisements for those movies don't intrigue me enough to watch them, just like the trailer advertisements for the Gingerded Man Crossover or the 4th or 5th Evil Bong films. The only reason I watched the crossover, 420 and High 5 is because of how much I liked the first three films, as well as the first Gingerdead Man film.

The Evil Bong franchise is no longer a fun film franchise anymore, and quite frankly, its possibly due to Kent Roudebush's involvement with the franchise. Why have Bachman and Brett become gay with each other all of a sudden off-screen and run a Pilates studio in San Francisco? Why is Alistair, the main character, replaced by Larnell? Probably because actors Mitch Eakins and Brian Lloyd didn't get along with Kent Roudebush on set with the 3rd film, and so he wrote them out when he was assigned the Crossover. And since Alistair is played by a different actor each film, why not write him out as well. Why is Hambo and Ooga Booga randomly appearing in the Evil Bong films? Because they're from Zombies vs. Strippers and Ooga Booga respectively, and Kent Roudebush wrote those films. I swear, if Kent Roudebush touches either the Puppet Master series, or the Killjoy series, I will quit watching Full Moon films. Speaking of Killjoy, get the writer and director of those films, John Lechago, to come and fix THIS franchise up. John Lechago is probably the best thing that has happened to Full Moon this decade, but I'll get into that if I ever do a Killjoy series review. 

Overall, the acting is okay (an A effort from the cast), camera work is fine, lighting is fine, and sound mix is good. Music...is the same damn shit from the last few movies. Special effects...I have no idea because nobody dies and there's no bloodshed in this movie. And CGI effects...50/50. The CGI for the Bong World is fine, but the Green Screen background for outside the shop is awful. When Cyril and Jeff exit the shop, you see in the background a street and a building across, yet Cyril and Jeff's shadows are casting over the entire green-screen background. I've seen more effort from Doug Walker's Nostalgia Critic videos, and he has less, if not, the same amount of resources Full Moon currently has. I give this movie 3 little Eebee bongs out of 10 nickels worth alone with Crack Whore.